Team Meals: It's All About The Good Stuff

Like many football teams, my team has weekly meals together as a position group. It is one of my favorite times of the week as it consists of the entire offensive line going out to a sports bar, buffet of some sort, or a local favorite and consuming an insane and unhealthy amount of food. Heaven. Not to mention having 16 guys at 240+lbs sitting at a table together can be quite intimidating even for the most veteran of servers. We were actually asked by a waiter at Olive Garden to never come back again after we had to have set the record for most breadsticks consumed at one sitting. My Mom can attest to that one- it was a sight.

Non-linemen on the other hand like going to places such as The Cheesecake Factory, Q'Doba, and other "skinny-people" places where you can't consume large amounts of food at one sitting without spending a good chunk of money. Their meals are much less entertaining, mostly because fat people are just funnier than skinny people in general. It's true- I read it in a book. Go sit through one of their meals where they don't order any appetizers, get salads and vegetables, and drink water and see how much "fun" they are. Then come to one of our shmorgus borgs and enjoy tons of hot wings and cheese sticks, nothing green within a 50 yard vicinity, and waterfalls of Mountain Dew and Cherry Coke. Which one do you think you'd like better?

But the food is not the only part of "The Good Stuff" when it comes to team meals. The dinners give you a chance to really get to know the guys around you on a much deeper level You know, like whether they like wings or drumsticks and other important stuff. But in all seriousness, I spend anywhere from 40-60 hours a week with these guys depending on travel time to away games. The majority of my memories from college either have to do with football, or at least with my teammates. It's no coincidence that my best friends on campus also happen to be on the team. These guys have shed the same blood and sweat 24/7/365 as I have for the last 4 years. And these meals play a big part in creating those deep connections with my fellow fatties. Skill guys don't really have to know their fellow position players like us linemen do. We have to know what each other are going to do without even asking. We have to be able to read the body language and muffled sounds on the line and turn them into our signals and changes when we are blocking. We really do have to be the closest knit unit on the team. We know the team can't do anything without us. So when the skinny guys make fun of us for going to CiCi's Pizza and staying for 2 hours, we stick out our chests and bellies, smiling with pride.

Now for my review of college football thus far. Not gonna lie I have been thoroughly impressed with what Rich Rodriguez has done with his QB Denard Robinson. He is averaging over 410 yards of total offense per game. Makes sense considering Rodriguez has been busted for keeping his players in practice and film far longer than allowed by the NCAA. Bless the hearts of Notre Dame fans across the country- they just can't seem to get over that hump. The black sheep of the SEC, Ole Miss, has also been beaten badly with losses to Jacksonville St. and Vanderbilt. Any SEC team that loses to Vandy deserves all of the ridicule possible- I don't even know if those guys practice as much as we do. Texas and Florida have both been struggling with their new QBs, a trend that will continue throughout this season as neither has the experience or running attack necessary to sustain the powerful offenses we have seen from them in the past. As for Bama, Trent Richardson did as I expected, making people wonder even more if he really is better than Ingram. Even though Ingram did have over 150 yards on just 9 carries and 2 TDs, I still think Richardson might be a little better. As Bama moves deeper in their SEC schedule, getting both snaps throughout the games will wear down defenses until they fold like the Buffalo Bills in the Superbowl.

As for this week, keep an eye on Bama at Arkansas, South Carolina at Auburn, and Oregon St. at Boise St. This will be Bama's first real test, playing Ryan Mallet's high powered passing attack in Fayetteville. Bama will win because of their running game as always, as it will more than compensate for our deficiencies in the secondary. You just can't beat a team that holds the ball for 12 minutes in the fourth quarter because of their unstoppable running attack. As for South Carolina at Auburn, I like South Carolina in this one. Spurrier always brings his A game when he's on the road, especially at Auburn. And I really don't think Gene Chizik has the Plainsmen quite as ready as everybody else does. They are very flashy and feed off of momentum, so look out if South Carolina gets on a roll. And finally Oregon ST. at Boise St. The Bronco's are basically unbeatable at their place, thanks to visiting teams being mesmerized by that infamous blue turf. Kellen Moore is playing well and that Boise defense is running to the ball too well to get beat. Boise wins, and basically solidifies themselves as a BCS contender. Like I said before week 1, Bama vs. Boise St. in the national championship come January.

Until Next Time,
Roll Tide!
The Big Man

Camp Festivities and Traditions

Football camp really is one of my favorite times of the year. For two weeks, nothing but football matters. You get to hang out with your best friends and act as gross and vulgar as you want. In fact, that kind of behavior is both expected and rewarded. All of the glamorous BS you see on shows like MTV's "Two-A-Days" and the most recent ESPN special on Bama's pre-season practices  is not what makes it fun (Although watching my boy Preston Dial on the ESPN special was quite humorous and exciting to be able to say I played with him for 2 years). Come spend a night in the dorms with us to hear the stories from the summer, watch us gamble all of our money away on poker and street craps, and join in on nicknaming the smelly freshmen- that's what makes it fun. They don't really smell worse than us and I would call it a term of endearment but it's really not. My favorites nicknames- that I can actually post on the internet without having a sexual harassment law suit being brought down on the team by one of the freshman's parents- are Johnny Tsunami for our Hawaiian corner, Augustus Gloop for an o-lineman from Dallas, and Twiggy for the smallest o-lineman I've ever seen. The best part is the upperclassmen don't really give the freshmen a say so in the matter, and the names are given within hours after meeting them for the first time. The names all stick no matter how awkward or idiotic they are. Even the coaches join in sometimes.

For more entertainment, come to a meal and enjoy our tradition of making each freshman stand on a chair and sing a song while we scream at them from every direction. And God help them if they forget the words- that's when we make them sing "I'm a Little Teapot" with the hand motions included. Even the rookie coaches have to sing, which is usually even funnier than the freshmen. We added a new tradition this year amongst the o-line- writing down all of the funny/pervish/awkward/asinine things our coach says and posting them on twitter completely out of context. Check out @doctorfishma for great ones such as "don't be afraid to expose yourself on the field." We may publish a book by the end of the year.

Aside from the joking around and hazing of freshmen, camp is the most important time of the year. It sets the tone for the rest of the season- if you come out with no fire or excitement, your season will be exactly like that. Luckily for us, we came out and started off on the right foot. Our practices were some of the most intense and focused I have ever seen, definitely since I've been at Washu. The athletic department even made a recruiting video of camp to show prospective players. My fat butt is in it right at the end watching my boys hitting the sled. But the challenge with classes starting up now is keeping that intensity and focus with so many distractions. Much easier said than done.

So I decided every week I'll do a a recap of the games from the previous weekend along with a preview for the upcoming games. No games so far, but the big news for Bama was Heisman Trophy winner Mark Ingram having his knee scoped. I'm not too worried considering Trent Richardson may pull a Lou Gehrig/Wally Pip and make everyone say Mark Who? Ingram will be 100% for the Penn St. game and with a freshman quarterback at the helm for the Nittany Lions, Bama's defense may do all of the scoring anyways.

My games to watch this week will be Oregon St. vs. TCU, LSU vs. UNC, and finally Boise St. vs. Virginia Tech. Basically everyone other than these 6 teams has a week to shake off all of the cobwebs and get in a groove while these teams are hitting the ground running. But if you have to lose it's better to lose early than late. I'm almost mad we actually have a night game because I will miss the first two games, but hopefully we can get the Bear 100 (number of running plays plus completed passes in a game) on offense and can have the shortest game in D3 history so I can catch some of the 2nd halves. I can't wait to see if TCU can carry the momentum from last year into another BCS bowl bid, or if they will fall flat on their face. I'm excited for either. For UNC, I hear all of the analysts say this team has the most NFL talent on it. Those were also the guys who said Matt Leinart was one of the best pro style quarterbacks coming out of college in 2006. Considering he's on the same path as Jamarcus Russell right now, I don't really care what the analysts say about UNC. I like LSU in this match-up. ACC just can't hack it when playing SEC teams. As for Boise St, this is by far the biggest game of the year for them and maybe in their history. The national championship hangs in the balance as this game will make or break their season. They are damn near unbeatable at their place, but playing at a "neutral" site will definitely even out the playing field. And by "neutral" I mean a VA Tech home game considering it's in Maryland. Should be interesting to see what trick plays Boise still has left up their sleeve to see if they can beat Beamer's Hokies.

Should be a great opening weekend to say the least. I know when I'm not on the field I will be glued to the couch watching the games and analysis as always.

Until Next Time,
Roll Tide!
The Big Man